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Divorce
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Gathered and overheard from children of divorce
22 Apr 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“My dad is a hoarder and so when it is ‘his’ time he tries to hoard us too. We are not allowed to phone our mom, go to our (her) house, or even get anything from there if we forget something.” (Peter 12)
“How can I love my mom when she hates my dad? It’s hard to imagine that they ever loved each other.” (Sarah 14)
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Time to throw in the towel?
03 Apr 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Is it time to throw in the towel with an intimate relationship? Here are 8 ways to tell:
- Trust is eroded through serial breaches regarding affairs, lies, and the use of resources (money, credit cards, loans).
- There’s little or no mutual respect.
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He has no interest in me or in change
28 Mar 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“I go from year to year hoping things will change in my rather dismal marriage of 16 years. My husband has no interest in me but also has no interest in change. I have become inured, feeling-less, dead on the inside and yet I cannot put to rest the feeling that there must be more than the slow death I find myself in. We have no children.”
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My girlfriend says the divorce was hard on the kids so……
17 Mar 2012 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
“My girlfriend’s kids (12 and 7) are with their dad everything is fine. When we have them it’s impossible to get them to do anything around the house. Their mother lets them get away with anything and they treat her badly. The girl has tantrums to get her way. My girlfriend says the divorce was hard on the kids so she doesn’t want to be hard. I think it’s a copout. I can’t correct them cause my girlfriend and the kids resent me. I’ve tried hard but it’s getting worse. A lot of the problem also is their father. He’s a 42-year-old child. I don’t hit or spank. I have yelled at them and they get upset and so does my girlfriend. I feel that I have a good head on my shoulders but need help. Everything points towards breaking up. If I decide to leave it would break my girlfriend’s heart. I’m starting to resent her and the kids.” (Shortened)
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This, sir, is your chance to grow, not go…..
05 Mar 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“I met my wife when she was 17. We married fours year later and have been happily for the past 15 years. Recently she revealed a sexual relationship from before we met. While dating we agreed to wait until our wedding night and I believed she was a virgin. This news has taken me by surprise. I cannot get over what my wife has done. I have asked for a separation. My challenge is that I do not view her as I have for all these years. I feel betrayed and cannot deal with this anymore.” (Edited)
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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