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Anger
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My sons have learned from their father to be cruel to me…..
01 Aug 2011 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
“My two children (male teenagers) have learned from their father to be unkind and often cruel to me. They will mimic my voice as he does if I give them instructions and they will laugh at my face. He knows they are copying him but he can’t do anything about it. They know how he treats me. I feel ganged up on in my own house. Please help.”
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What can Jesus and the woman caught in adultery teach us about Family Therapy?
15 Jul 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Art by David Hayward at www.NakedPastor.com
What we can learn about FAMILY THERAPY from Jesus and the woman caught in adultery?
When Jesus, the teachers of the law, the Pharisees and the “woman caught in adultery” are forced together for the well-known encounter recorded in John 8, the interaction illustrates some fundamental concepts of Family Therapy. More than this, the altercation shows a healthy leader’s response – A Non-Anxious Presence – to an evil, toxic, and yet common human set-up.
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When your husband says he doesn’t love you anymore…
08 Jul 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Of course you are going to fall apart, and mourn the loss of the future you thought you’d have.
You will feel like death itself and even welcome your own.
Then, when your mind somewhat clears, you’ll wonder what really occurred. You will question what you might have done to cause the marriage breakdown and wonder what you might have done to save it.
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I hope your “partner” reads this and sees it as her impetus to bail……
27 Jun 2011 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
Clean up your language. It might make you more attractive all round. If you swear while you are writing about your most intimate relationship, one can only imagine what you must be like face-to-face. How a person treats outsiders (those whom you do not know and who will read your writing) is a powerful indicator of how you treat insiders (those close to you).
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Four sure-fire ways to increase family emotional health and deal with overly-sensitive people
26 Jun 2011 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
I have received several very welcome and lengthy letters from readers who find themselves in very complicated family relationships.
Here are four broad principles for all members of a family:
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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