“I have a ‘special relationship’ with my boss. He relies on me more than he does on his wife. I know more than she does about his life, business, and finances. It is totally non-sexual. It is because it is not sexual that we CAN talk about anything. He pays me less than he should but I understand. One day he will make it up when things improve. I get jealous about where he spends his time. If he wants a friend, I am his friend. When he wants to be the boss you’d think we were almost strangers. This hurts but I can’t tell him because them I sound like his wife. I can’t leave. I know too much about the business and he needs me. Yet, I am too emotionally attached. Pleas help.”
Bailing out and letting the chips fall where they may is the only option. While the boss requires a course in growing up, the employee ought to learn to get her emotional needs met outside of the workplace. Both are at fault – but the boss, being the one with the power, is responsible for the (mis)shape of the relationship.