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“My children are very involved with their grandparents on both sides of the family. My parents, unlike my husband’s parents, play favorites. They actually SAY things about which child they favor and for what reasons. I have tried to talk to them about this but it doesn’t seem to help. It amuses the children (11, 12, and 14), it makes my husband cringe, and it embarrasses me. What can I do?” (Edited)
I forgive you no matter what.
Forgiving you is an act of healthy self-love.
It is not about you, which I know you will find surprising.
I value myself and therefore I have decided to live without resentment, bitterness, sarcasm, or self-loathing.
Consequently, I am free of you and your careless ways. I am free even of the understandable urge to resent you.
I forgive you because it is my only healthy option.
Two of my three adult sons ignored Mothers Day. I waited the whole day for a card or a text message or a phone call. I waited in vain.
Every minute spent waiting was unfortunately wasted. The waiting, the watching, held you back from the many adventures the day potentially held for you.
“The problem in our marriage is my in-laws. My wife has never really separated from them as a daughter to become my wife. We are newly married (two years) and have no children. She runs to them for everything. In return, they give her everything she wants. She is an only child. They are determined to keep it that way. They even talk to her in this embarrassing weird childish tone. In good times she sees and talks to them everyday. The bad times come when I want us to go away for a few days, or change our routine a little. She gets concerned about how rigid they are and how our changes will upset their routine. If I ask my wife about when she will let up a little she gets really upset and then they get upset.” (Edited)
Your individual growth must become your focus. You cannot grow your wife up. You cannot make her let go of her parents. You cannot make her parents let her go. But you can grow yourself up. Increase your tolerance for all their pain, forge ahead with healthy challenges, and invite your wife to join you in becoming an adult.
“My children are very involved with their grandparents on both sides of the family. My parents, unlike my husband’s parents, play favorites. They actually SAY things about which child they favor and for what reasons. I have tried to talk to them about this but it doesn’t seem to help. It amuses the children (11, 12, and 14), it makes my husband cringe, and it embarrasses me. What can I do?” (Edited)
I forgive you no matter what.
Forgiving you is an act of healthy self-love.
It is not about you, which I know you will find surprising.
I value myself and therefore I have decided to live without resentment, bitterness, sarcasm, or self-loathing.
Consequently, I am free of you and your careless ways. I am free even of the understandable urge to resent you.
I forgive you because it is my only healthy option.